May 2007
Where do I begin? My second trip to Africa, this time much shorter and with Chris Steingart my partner and co- director of Masai Centre. Now that I am here, I look back over the last 10 months and see what an emotionally difficult time it has been. I have tried to understand why. The last entry of my journal, Tsepong, August 6th 2006 explains my difficulty well:
“On to Joburg airport for an 11:50pm flight to Amsterdam. My feet are walking over the cobblestone sidewalk at the airport entrance, moving slowly and somewhat defiantly out of Africa. All evening long as we have moved closer to departure my mind has wondered to thoughts of Mathabesang- her life, her home, the trauma and grief she has lived with, the triumphant way she leads the morning praise and worship, the way she elevates the patients above their horrific circumstances- all of it now seems a life time away, another place, another time, maybe just a dream.
We are responsible for these people, thousands of miles away, a wealthy society, an affluent culture, ignorant and seemingly immune to so much of the devastating circumstances most of the planet lives with. We are responsible. We are no different. We are all African. It is only easier for us to ignore, justify or remain oblivious because the poverty and suffering are not clearly visible, not in our backyard, half a world away.
What are the consequences of remaining ignorant, oblivious and unresponsive? We are part of a global citizenship. Our apathy, our unresponsiveness puts us all at great risk. The planet cannot sustain the mass consumerism by some, the environmental disregard and damage that is directly coupled and intimately linked in complicated ways with the poverty and human suffering of the majority. Our lifestyle puts the planet at risk. Our choice to remain ignorant and oblivious to our fellowman in need puts our souls and the future of humankind at risk.
We are less repulsed and less offended when yet another species of animal becomes extinct. Is it possible for the same level of desensitization to prevail once we allow the first modern human society to become extinct? How ironic if the first nations to fall, the first to be ignored as they die, will likely be so closely linked to this “Cradle of Humankind”, the birthplace of humanity? It will be a poignant and powerful message to us all and a testament to our own fragility and self-centredness.”
Pretty heavy stuff. I have carried these thoughts and feelings with me for almost a year as I slipped unwillingly back into my western life and back to the day to day trials of being a wife, mother, family physician, HIV specialist and now AIDS activist. I have never worn so many hats or tried to accomplish so much in such a short period of time. I am returning to Africa with less excitement, less enthusiasm, more fatigue and less optimism. The world is a very difficult place. Trying to wake up a nation is much more difficult than I thought.